Advaita Post #11- 02 --- Only when you experience...
January 26, 2010
--- Only when you experience that you are more spacious than your contraction, this can dissolve; see where that leads ---
"What was my condition, before there was experience? Who was there to answer this question? ... that 'I' that has no shape and doesn't know itself as 'I am'. "
(See Information)
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Contraction and expansion
From a talk in Gouda on August 30, 2009 (Part 2)
For me, there is sometimes a constricted situation. Then consciousness is completely closed off and there is even a physical cramp. Then I notice that I have the tendency to run away from it.
However it is: just sitting still is always possible. See what happens when you sit still and leave the situation as it is. Just leave it.
Look, while you are sitting there so quietly, more space just comes. Notice it. What kind of space? It's the space of your feeling being-awareness. How is it with you in this situation: yes, there is the expansion of your own aware sphere, of yourself. You get more space than that of the contraction. Great. Keep watching: how is it then with the space in relation to the constriction? The cramp is present in that space. Therefore the energy tension that is there can dissolve in the space.
This process is somewhat parallel to that of ordinary physics. In normal energetics when there are other forces at work an imbalanced situation can arise. If a body is in uniform motion and there are no other forces acting upon it, then that motion will continue indefinitely. If there is to be a change, a force must be applied, there must be an event of energetic force. This applies also to the concentration of energy. If there is no concentrating force functioning, then that energy will dissipate evenly in the space. That's the law of entropy. There is a radiator, or here is a candle flame, and there is space. The heat spreads itself evenly in the room.
This applies also to the concentration of emotional energy. If you feel tension, it is an emotional energy that is blocked through external obstructing or internal forces in the direction of the centre of the tension. As these forces disappear through relaxation, the previously held energies expand and spread themselves evenly in the space, that is dissolving. Somewhere you experience cramps or stress, and there is a much larger space. Within that space a relaxation of the contracting forces easily comes. In the space they have less and less grip. The pieces of energy will then expand and dissolve. You can see that happen, if you stay somewhat aware of your own space. With small energetic disturbances dissolution occurs very easily. But with serious tensions it happens in precisely the same way.
Thus where should you look: the space and not the contraction. Of course, it is also present in the bigger picture, but because you no longer sit in the centre of tension, the holding power is also no longer there. So if the internal holding power of the ego is no longer there, all the accumulated tension-energy flies away. Better off without it!
In your consciousness-space you see and feel how much you maintain your contraction. You can then say that it has arisen through a long construction period. But when you become aware of the whole situation, it's just absurd that you let it continue to exist, which is to say, that you continue to exert the force that holds on tightly to that energy. Internally there is still the idea of an 'I': "that belongs to me", "I have to hold onto myself"; "I have to keep the whole thing under control". That is an illusion. If you see the suffering caused by that illusion, then isn't it absurd that you still want to hold it all together? You must see how ridiculous that is.
That illusion particularly concerns your self-image. You should take a look at how much you have invested in it. It is an illusory idol. You know how it goes with idols: they eat their devotees.
You see it and see through it, and through that the magic spell is broken. That magic trick you learned to know so well. If you notice that there is still an energy where you are stuck, you say: now that's enough; now the nonsense of constantly acting so pompous must stop.
Is the illusion an idea from oneself?
It's a certain image of yourself that you have, half-consciously or unconsciously, with the quality: "this is important because this is myself", and even: "this is the most important". That is an illusion.
Is the self-image a thought?
No, it's not just a thought. It goes much deeper. Of course, it is also a thought, but it exists on all levels of your existence. It works on unbelievably deep levels, thus also physical, and feeling-sense. You have to see it all the way through to that great depth.
When the identity with that image is no longer there, life can continue in a free manner. Then there is the normal course of things: every organism grows, becomes adult, moves off and disappears again. Take a look at Schiermonnikoog [an island off the coast of the Netherlands]: you see gulls there in all different stages of decomposition. It naturally belongs to them. When you see that, isn't it absurd that you attach such great importance to your corruptible body, that you give yourself so completely over to it, that you hang yourself up there?
In relations with other people there are all kinds of crosscurrents. Then shouldn't you do something?
Don't close off the space. Stay in the infinite self-space. Nothing else really needs to be done. Everything happens by itself. Heartbeat and breathing, seeing and hearing, walking and talking, getting things ready, washing things up, it all happens by itself.
As you look back in your life, you see all kinds of events. Then you can also directly confirm it: all the things in this life are events that in the big picture happen by themselves. Then you don't need to identify any longer with the person there in those photos? No, you survey everything afterwards from a distance and say: that's naturally how things go in the big picture.
How is it with yourself? All the things from life are very temporary: they appear and disappear once again. If you live for a moment over one hundred years - what is one hundred years now - there is nothing more to find of this little person. Maybe somewhere there is still a grandchild or so that has heard something about that grandfather or grandmother. But that's nothing. So your life is principally relative: a piece of life that flares up and then that piece dissolves again in the great whole. So then do you still need to make it more important than it is? By making things in the world and in your life personally important, you preserve something of your personal self there and that directly means that that constitutes a part of your 'I'-identity. Which directly means that everything that happens to all those things, happens to you. If you identify yourself with your life, you know that when you die, your life will end.
If you have returned a little bit to your Self, you say: that's nonsense. When you are free from personal constraints, you are everything.
Keep it very simple and pure. Imagine that you are free from everything that is temporal, that exists under conditions. Apparently it is so.
When a conditioned energy pops up again whereby you have the tendency to make it very important, just turn immediately back again and experience that you are more and much larger than the phenomenon so that the contraction can dissolve therein. Do this constantly, constantly! See where it leads.
It is directly clear and very simple.
Is there anyone who doesn't find it to be like that?
Er is geen tweeheid
als je ontspannen bent
in zelf-bewustzijn
is dat duidelijk.
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